i don't like sucking hair
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
