Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
