I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize