I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
