So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
