just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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