My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
