So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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