If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
