i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
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the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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