The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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