He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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