my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
