I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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