I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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