New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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