i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
