its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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