Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
