Will you blow on my dice?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize