Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
