Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
