His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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