So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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