Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
