just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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