if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
