so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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