Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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