Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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