wat bout pragnant strippers??
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
