i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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