we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
