We're facebook friends in real life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
