I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
