and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
