I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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