fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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