party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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