Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
