You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
