just tell him i said nine months
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
