My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
