Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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