he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
