i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize