i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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