My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
