you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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