Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
