Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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