That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
