He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
