No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
