i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
