We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
