But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
