My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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