no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
