we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
