you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
