Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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