grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
