Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
