Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
